Interesting how life works...

okay so its 12:44 at night.

im fucking drained.

but yet...

here I am.

On the Fucking computer.

Blogging.

HA!

I make myself laugh.

My stab wound is REALLY FUCKING ITCHY!

UGGH!

(I stabbed myself trying to cut open a bagel... dont ask)

My Ipod is Currently on Shuffle.

And Im listening to the Final Episode

Asking Alexandria

Tis Good Stuff!!

So Anyways.

Lets get into the meat of this Blog.

I was at my Boyfriends house today

and Right before I left,

I had a huge depression Episode.

HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING ROCK

and fuckk.

(just so you know, I have clinical depression so episodes come out of no where once in a while)

I started crying uncontrollably.

then I started thinking that the room was filled with fog.

or smoke.

or rain.

Then I started telling him everything

about my mother.

Things Ive never told anyone ever.

EVER.

All of this went on for a good hour or so.

And...

Im pretty sure I will always be thankful for what he did tonight.

Forever.

Because he didnt say a word for a while.

just sat there.

held me.

kissed me.

stroked me.

and let me cry my eyes out.

Finally.

Then I tried to apologize

for being so emotional.

he told me not to apologize.

"please dont say sorry. please"

I continued to say sorry ofcourse...

but.

those words will always be stuck in my brain.

I know that If I need him.

He will be there.

And thats so Incredible.

It makes my heart want to jump out of my chest.

He makes me heart want to jump out of my chest

-October Horizon.