They dont play this song on the Radio

Okay so Currently Im listening to Amanda Palmer.
Map of Tasmania :D

Oh and Im also on Facebook (ofcourse)

Im staying in Calgary for a week with my aunt and cousin
Its going pretty great :)
My cousin and I get along really well
I met one of her friends and this dude is fucking cool.
We went to stampede with him and i went on the zipper with him and LOL he is so fucking funny
he had never been on it before and he was screaming his face off and yelling "im gonna shit my pants!"
FUCKK it was so fucking funny.

So just to fill you in on information that you might not know...
I moved out
I live with my boyfriend and some friends.
and I love it.
Ive been here for about 2 months now
and its really great. I get along with my parents alot better now.
which is kinda strange
they dont really approve of my living situation.
but whatever
they can suck it.
its my life and my choice.


I won a pikachu at the calgary stampede :P
ima give it to my boyfriend.
he will love it! ... i hope
I mean, he really likes pokemon so it makes sense.

anyways thats all I really have to say.
Tata

-October

I Dont know...

Hello there!
Just as a fair warning this blog entry may turn out to be really boring...
just a warning lol :P

Im with my boyfriend and my friends.
They are all infatuated with some new game they got..
so im just kinda.
chillin..
haha.
Im on the computer.
But honestly...
im not a huge fan of being on the computer.
Its kinda draining.

For Example... Facebook.

It can be super depressing.
Because there is always that one person that you used to be super great friends with, or there is the ex that you still have feelings for or there is the ass hole that fucked you over.
There is always Drama.
I like to keep myself out of Drama.
It can be a task sometimes.
Thats why recently I deleted a whole bunch of people off facebook.
originally I had 223 friends.
now I have like 88.
Maybe.
I deleted everyone who I dont talk to
everyone who I hate
Everyone who is super involved in drama.
I just dont care about that shit anymore.

Because really, you know that if you have the time on your hands...
 and you have nothing to do
you will look at shit that you know will hurt you.
I did that all the time.
not with exes or anything.
but just people of my past
people that I know I should have beat the shit out of
or people that I had so much to say to
but I never said anything.
it was a serious downer.
and im trying not to think about my past
i wanna live for the day
and when you have so much temptation to look at shit on facebook....
it makes things hard.

but anyways... ima go have a smoke
ill prob blog later today.

Interesting how life works...

okay so its 12:44 at night.

im fucking drained.

but yet...

here I am.

On the Fucking computer.

Blogging.

HA!

I make myself laugh.

My stab wound is REALLY FUCKING ITCHY!

UGGH!

(I stabbed myself trying to cut open a bagel... dont ask)

My Ipod is Currently on Shuffle.

And Im listening to the Final Episode

Asking Alexandria

Tis Good Stuff!!

So Anyways.

Lets get into the meat of this Blog.

I was at my Boyfriends house today

and Right before I left,

I had a huge depression Episode.

HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING ROCK

and fuckk.

(just so you know, I have clinical depression so episodes come out of no where once in a while)

I started crying uncontrollably.

then I started thinking that the room was filled with fog.

or smoke.

or rain.

Then I started telling him everything

about my mother.

Things Ive never told anyone ever.

EVER.

All of this went on for a good hour or so.

And...

Im pretty sure I will always be thankful for what he did tonight.

Forever.

Because he didnt say a word for a while.

just sat there.

held me.

kissed me.

stroked me.

and let me cry my eyes out.

Finally.

Then I tried to apologize

for being so emotional.

he told me not to apologize.

"please dont say sorry. please"

I continued to say sorry ofcourse...

but.

those words will always be stuck in my brain.

I know that If I need him.

He will be there.

And thats so Incredible.

It makes my heart want to jump out of my chest.

He makes me heart want to jump out of my chest

-October Horizon.

Screaming Techno Babe

Haha okay so I was just putting Random Words into the Title of this blog entry but looking at it now, I think Im gonna make a song with that title hahaha!

So Im currently listening to Asking Alexandria

and it rad!

I never really used to listen to Asking alexandria.

This is another one of those bands that I discovered Recently

Well, I mean, I knew they existed but i never listened to them

and now im downloading a shitload of their songs!

Awesome.

But Anyways!

That was not the point of this blog entry.

Im actually not too sure what I was gonna come into this blog entry with....

like, ideas and such.

THIS ISNT OVER BABY DONT BELIEVE A WORD THEY SAID!

hehe

Well, lets talk about Someone very Important to me

Or, well, we wont really talk...

considering this is a blog.

Ill tell you.

You read.

It will work.

Okay So Im dating this guy right now

and he is absolutely FANTASTIC

I love him.

I mean, we have only been dating a month

and Im not like

"He's my true love hehe were gonna be together forever and get married and BLAH BLAH BLAH"

no.

Im not like that.

but I do care about him alot.

ALOT

It kinda creeps me out.

how much I enjoy him.

because I have trust issues.

but around him I have like no cares.

at all.

which, is weird.

If you knew me and understood my mind you would be weirded out too.

because I have like 492856204252 thoughts running through my head at a time

I mean, I know girls normally have lots on their mind.

But even most of my girl friends think I have WAY too much on my mind.

Most dont understand how I could even do it.

So, being able to not think about ANYTHING at all

is truely

amazing

but anyways

we dated before.

for two months over last summer.

so it been almost a year since we dated?

a little less than a year.

but when we dated before

It was a completely different experience

Not necessarily bad.

but different.

My ex got in the way alot.

along with my dear parents.

and we were alot less comftorable around eachother.

Honestly, I think we have grown up a little since we last dated.

I dont really know what to say.

I suppose I'll describe him.

He is a sweetheart

But he doesnt seem like it at first.

He always looks really unimpressed.

or atleast... that day he did.

When we first met

He didnt say
ANYTHING!

but ofcourse I thought he was fucking gorgeous.

and I acted like a retard and wouldnt shut my mouth that whole day

I usually get really excited around new people.

and so I was all over the place.

And I thought FORSURE

he would think I was annoying.

I mean, I thought I was annoying.

So i wouldnt blame him.

but apparently not.

He was always pretty quiet when we hung out after that.

Then we started chatting on FB

and he helped me with some relationship problems.

but anyways.

im not going to get into the whole story.

THE POINT IS

that he is a fantastic human being.

and i really hope he will always, in some way

be apart of my life.

whether its romantically or not.

I have more to say but I have to start getting ready...

-October Horizon.

Sonny Boy.

Currently Listening to Skrillex

(That says skrillex for all you whom are rainbow-intolerent)

Does anyone here know much about Skrillex?

I honestly didnt even know skrillex existed till like a week ago.

Skrillex Containes a Very Interesting man called Sonny Moore.

You know who sonny moore is?

My lifetime hero.

Ive loved him since like grade 6.

I wanted to have his babies.

Im over it now... (kind of)

but he will always be close to my heart.

(Explination coming soon... so maybe that will sound less creepy)

Im pretty sure this is like the third time Ive repeated this song...

I cant help myself.

.Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites are Rather Alluring.

But anywho

I love you people.

So have any of you heard of FFTL?

(From first to last)

YES! OH MY GOD!

Well when I was in middle school I

LOVED LOVED LOVED

from first to last

they helped me through alot of rough times

and i totally wanted to bang sonny moore.

But really...

at the time I would die for them

I was super Suicidal (my spelling sucks)

didnt have good friends.

didnt really have a whole bunch going for me

and from first to last inspired me.

not only to continue living

but to express myself in artistic ways

To write, draw, paint, do photography

And they showed me that I didnt have to be ashamed to be myself.

That was super important to me

They also taught me that the world is full of assholes.

and you need to tell those assholes whats up!

and that I did.

ha.

im funny.

Its funny though.

because from first to last is kinda screamo

punk?

i dunno im bad with genres.

they might be different now.

i only listen to the from first to last that sonny was in...

but anyways.

sonny left FFTL when he was 19

(started when 16)

and then he started doing some alternative indie stuff...

and now he is skrillex.

Dubsteb

Electronica

Techno

Progressive

and its really cool

that he is into all those genres and he doesnt keep himself within one genre.

i mean he still likes screamo and punk

but he loves techno and dubsteb aswell

(HEY! JUST LIKE ME!)

were pretty much meant to be. <3

but yea. Thats my rant.

Ill be on later to rant some more my lovlies

im grounded so...expect much to read.

i have nothing better to do.

Hey So Its been a while since I have blogged

Just wanted to make possibly the shortest blog ever just to let you guys know that im back and will try to blog regularily!
And I will also be searching for some blogs to love.

_October Horizon

Your Breakfast Smells Great

Soo I am over at my friend's house and she offered to make me breakfast!
(She really wanted to and she wont let me help, she wont even let me in the kitchen)

I am currently listening to Abandon all Ships :D

OMIGOSH SHE JUST GAVE ME THE BREAKFAST AND IT TASTES SOO GOOD.

I am so thankful for my friends. The ones that have been good to me atleast.
and im pretty sure I would do anything for them. I hope they would do the same for me.
The thing about it is, my friends could care less what I look like and thats the same with them.  (although  they are VERY good looking)
I mean, obviously there are somethings that im gonna care about. like personal hygeine. and that has nothing to do with personality. I just dont want to be uncomftorable when around them because they dont shower or they dont put on deodorant, or they dont brush their teeth. Stuff like that. and its not because im superficial. Its just how i am. I think i should be comftorable around my friends. do you agree?

well this is going to be a short blog.
sorry buds.

-October Horizon.

Tweet? I think not.

Im reall getting tired of this site telling me I need a twitter account!
I am doing just fine without a twitter account thank you very much!
And I obviously DONT need a twitter account for this site because I can do all the things I need to on this site without it.
SO SUCK MY BIRD!
=D
I enjoy ranting on this thing.

ALSO
i am going to be shaving the side of my head.
cool hey?
it will be rad.
Im sick of everyone thinking that we all have to act a certain way.
even the self-proclaimed scene kids or punk kids or metal kids are convinced that they need to dress a certain way. and shaving the side of your head isnt within that.
so what am I gonna do?
shave the side of my head ofcourse :)
because im my own person and i think it will look totally awesome

-October Horizon

Saving the Enviroment :D HOORAY!

So this will be a really short blog.

BUT

I saw the coolest thing today.

Pencils and Pens made out of 100% recycled Material!

 (except the lead and ink ofcourse)

ISN'T THAT AMAZING!

fuck.

I was soooo Happy.

Unfortunately I had no money so I didnt get them.

Fantastic.

Ah. Emotions. Society. Police. -_-;

I am Listening to NOFX right now.
Ughh. its so good ! :D


Anywhoo.
Im so emotionally exhausted.
Our Society had de-evolved so much.
Whatever happened to society taking care of society?
Back in our parents day... things werent as screwed up.
I dunno.
I mean, nowadays, we dont worry about what one person is gonna do to another if they do something taboo.
We go by hiding behind internet, or spreading rumours, or going behind someones back.
If we have a problem with someone else we never tell them! We pretend like everything is fine and then talk shit. Its utterly Pathetic.
If one person pissed another person off back in the day, they would just fight! One on One.
But now everyone has a big mouth about how well they can fight but they dont actually fight. They pretend.
Its SO STUPID.
Fuck Sakes.
Everyone used to be their own person, completely different from one another.
But now people try to be every stereotype all at once.
They try to get everyone to accept them.
NEWS FLASH.
not everyone is going to like you. thats just fantasy.
I mean Im all for good will to one another.
but if one person does something personally to you just to get under your skin, then i think they ask for it and the good will is off. If you let people walk all over you then what good is that? Your just going to get stepped on and all the good will you give other people will be a joke.
and its not a joke.
If we were all good to one another then we would get along fine. sure. if no one ever did anything to another person then we would have a peaceful world.
So lets play pretend for a second.
Lets just say the whole world practices good will to eachother and we are at COMPLETE peace. no war, no intentional hurt, no evil. Just the natural order of things. and all is serene.
Then, lets pretend that some jackass comes along and decides to ruin it. He beats up someone or corrupts children or starts a rumour about someone and causes a big scene. Are you just going to let him walk away? just talk about him behind his back? Let someone "in charge" deal with it? no. your going to make him pay for corrupting the peace! and once he is dealt with, you can go back to your peace (or close to it).
Society Dealing with Society.
Its the way to go.
The government and law is so leaneant these days.
It should be an eye for an eye.
You kill someone? You die.
And no, to all those activists out there, we arent sinking to their level.
Sinking to their level would mean that we would go out and kill an innocent person.
A murderer isnt innocent. incase you didnt know.
If someone kills an innocent person then they themselves deserve death.
Its only fair.
Also, we are told just to let the cops deal with it.
And while im sure cops should deal with some things on their own, im also sure that we are perfectly capable people and we dont need to rely on some cocky ass hole to tell us what to do.
they are trained to serve and protect, not to nag.
They spend their time looking for unruley teens most of the time.
Meanwhile, a a robbery could be in action, or a murder, or a suicide, or mugging, or rape and what are the "officials" doing? Making sure a couple of kids arent lighting up a cigarette.
just so you cops know... if a kid wants to smoke, he will find a way to smoke, you dont scair them. So find a different tactic, find something better to do with your time.
Im not trying to sound like some pessimistic bitch or anything.
I just think our society needs to smarten up.
Im pretty optimistic about alot of things actually.
This just bothers me.

Anywhoo.
The reason all of this started is because some stupid prick i know finds every opportunity to piss me off and get under my skin over the internet. AGH!
Im not happy.
but i will see him in person soon enough.
and he will know exactly how i feel.